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Query:

What are the common threads running through all addictions?



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"I had maintained an addiction to drugs and alcohol for many years. I was afraid to put it down because I didn't know what it would feel like to be without them. I was afraid of the adjustment period.  Once I put them down, however, although my body detoxified after just a few days, I felt the most amazing relief that I could actually maybe quit for good. I think the common thread for all addictions is the illusory fear that we might let go of the addiction and nothing would fill its place. It's an illusion, though. As the body feels better, the addiction is filled with joy." -- Walter B.

"I know for me, when it finally became easy to give up using, it was because I could admit that I needed help and that things were beyond what I felt I could control. The only way I could control things was with drugs. When I finally realized that it was beyond my control and I needed help, I gave the control over to my higher power and I trusted that I would be taken care of and that I would be OK.  This made it possible to explore a life without drugs. So I think a common thread in all addiction is the mistaken idea that we as individuals always have to be independently in control of every little thing. I think it is an unwillingness to ask for help that keeps us closed to giving up our crutch." HP

"An over-simplification is found in an old song performed by Willie Nelson 'the reasons to continue outnumber the reasons to quit' or something similar. Acceptance of the reasons to continue influences the creation of one or more crutches. Denial, abandoning control, saddling others with responsibility all enhance the reasons not to quit. I think that all these are generally present in struggles with an addiction."  John M

"For all the people I know who suffer from addictions, the common thread is pain and their inability to cope with it in a sober state. Most of the people I care about who are addicted to something have had painful, abusive childhoods that then transcended into painful adult lives. The addictions help them numb the pain. When they are able to heal the pain, the addictions can then be dealt with." Kim G.

"In my experience, common to the addictions:  
Unwillingness or inability to face situations in your life or feelings about a situation, others, or yourself.  Or maybe just plain boredom, I don't know.
Using:
It gives you a feeling of confidence and purpose that you don't think you have without "it."
Quitting:
Once the addictions are developed there's fear of the pain and emptiness without "it."  When I finally quit, I learned that the FEAR of the pain is much worse than the pain itself.  Almost anything can be tolerated on a moment to moment basis.  It takes mental and emotional strength, which you gain on every minute that you tolerate the cravings, the feelings of need and deprivation, don't give in, and turn your attention to something positive... a new goal or focus. 
Lesson of my addictions: 
that situations in your life and your feelings, both pleasant and unpleasant, are part of your life and need to be felt and acknowledged ... not sedated into oblivion!" Brenda

A Poem about addiction:

Quitting
------------
falling light
sinking like the sun
heavy and aching
gravity cant be overcome

an addiction I cant live with and cant deny
a few hours, half a day go by
distractions moment to moment
keep it away
then the dull ache surfaces

is there some way to have you?
a moment with you brings me back to life
now I'm fine
I don't need you
until the next time

Brenda

"The common thread of every addiction is fear of not being able to maintain without it."  unknown